Breathe SLOW UPDATES
by tattythomas
Summary: 5 years ago Nina Martin turned down the love of her life but when history repeats its-self can she figure out how to put things right? AU. Fabina with hints of Jerina. Requested by Sibunaforever69. Song-Fic to 'Breathe' by Taylor Swift. ***Slow updates as I am very busy with school***
1. Deja Vu

**Author's Note:** Ok so this is my new story/song-fic called Breathe, it was requested by Sibunaforever69. You might get a little confused but hopefully everything will straighten its-self out by the end of this story. I hope you guys like it because personally I don't.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own House of Anubis or Breathe.

**Breathe**

**Chapter 1 – Déjà Vu**

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away  
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way  
People are people and sometimes we change our minds  
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_

**Present Day - Nina PoV:**

"Nina Marie Martin, I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you. I promise to make you happy and give you everything you'll ever want in life. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

I look at him; down on one knee in front of me, diamond solitaire ring in his hand, a hopeful expression on his face.

_Oh god! What have I gotten myself into?_

_He wasn't supposed to feel like this!_

_It wasn't supposed to end like this!_

_I'm such an idiot!_

I turn my face towards the sky and see the ever-burning stars that twinkle unwaveringly, millions of miles away.

I like stars.

After everything that's happened the stars are the only things that have stayed the same.

'_I promise to make you happy and give you everything you want in life'._

The words bounce around my head like hailstones against the sidewalk.

They sting because I know that he would never be able to fulfil his promise.

Sure we'd live in a nice house, have good jobs and one day we'd probably have a beautiful family but I'd be lying to myself if I think that will make me happy.

No matter how hard he tries there would always be something missing, a part of me that would always feel incomplete and he would never be able to fix that.

A gentle breeze lifts my hair away from my face and rustles the leaves of the nearby trees.

It's not fair on him if I say yes; he deserves somebody who loves him as much as he loves her.

I take a shaky breath and turn my head to look directly into his large, blue eyes; a single tear slips silently down my cheek.

"I'm sorry Jerome," I whisper, my voice thick with tears, "I can't marry you."

_**-1 Hour Later-**_

My old, battered, leather trunk is packed and sitting on the passenger seat of my mint green Volkswagen Beatle.

I shift into 5th gear and push a little harder on the accelerator, speeding up the motorway and pushing the 80MpH speed limit.

I have no idea where I'm going but I have to get away, I won't let it be like last time.

Everything that happened tonight was exactly the same, it seriously freaked me out!

Talk about déjà vu.

It was as if God wanted to punish me for chickening out all those years ago.

In the last hour the sky has clouded over, hiding my only constants from view.

A light rain patters softly against the windows of my beat-up old car.

I think about what happened tonight.

The defeated look on his face.

The silent car ride home.

The way he cried when I walked out of his life for good.

Though I try not to, I can't help making comparisons to that emotional night 5 years ago.

I try to keep _his _face out of my mind but fail.

_His_ face keeps finding its way back inside my head and tearing down my defences.

Tear fall down my face and I try to blink them back, though I am unsuccessful.

I pull the car over and kill the engine.

Resting my head against the steering wheel, I let the tears take hold and painfully relive the memories I tried so hard to bury.

No matter how much it hurts, I cannot stop the images of _Fabian_ racing through my mind.

_**-Flashback-5 Years Previous-**_

"Nina Marie Martin, I love you. I have loved you ever since the day I first met you. I promise to love you forever. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

I stare out to the river behind him watching a family of ducks bob happily along.

_Why now?_

_We're 19 for god sake!_

_I know we talked about it but I didn't think he would actually propose the second we got out of high school._

_I mean; I want a life, a future._

_I want to live a little before I get married and settle down._

_I love him, I really do but I'm not ready for this._

_Maybe if he had asked me in a few years but not now, not yet._

I chew on my bottom lip really thinking about the choices I have.

_If I say yes I'll miss out on a world of opportunities but if I say no he will walk away and I will probably never see him again._

A chilly October wind blows; whipping my hair into frenzy and raising goose-bumps along my skin.

I wrap my arms around my body; drawing my coat tighter, trying to hold myself together.

I look at him and find his piercing blue eyes staring up at me, sparkling with anticipation.

My heart thumps in my chest.

"I love you Fabian. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody before but we're 19 and I'm not ready. I'm so sorry but the answer's no, I won't marry you."

_I am so selfish!_

His hands drop to his sides and the light disappears for his eyes.

"What?" he stares at me, his face a picture of hurt and disbelief.

"I'm so sorry." I choke out, my vision blurry with unshed tears.

I turn my back on him and gaze up at the iconic Liver Building, watching it shine proudly over the River Mersey.

"So am I." He says his voice emotionless.

He trudges past me, headed in the direction of the city centre, his head bent against the wind and his hands shoved deeply in his pockets.

He trudges past me and he doesn't look back.

_I'm such an idiot!_

_I can't believe that after dating him for 5 year I've actually lost him._

I sink into a nearby bench and let the tears flow, feeling nothing but a hollow ache where my heart should be.

_**-End of Flashback-Present Day-**_

My head slips off the steering wheel and bangs against the window jerking me out of my trance.

I dry my face with my shirt and start the engine, knowing exactly where I'm going.

**Author's Note:** So there is my first chapter to Breathe. Please leave me a review, no flames but constructive criticism is always welcomed. If you have any question about this chapter please leave them in a review. I will try to update this story every Sunday as long as I get 2-3 reviews on this chapter. The next chapter of 'A Second Chance to Make it Last' should be up very soon but until then SIBUNA!


	2. Why Didn't I Think of This?

**Author's Note:** Ok so here is the next chapter of Breathe. I had some new inspiration for this story over half-term and I decided to continue with it now instead of waiting until I finish 'A Second Chance To Make It Last'. Therefore I will be alternating between this story and that one. Please consider this chapter as a filler. There is drama to come but this chapter needed to be put in. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** House of Anubis and Breathe are not my property:)

**Breathe**

**Chapter 2 – Why Didn't I Think of This?**

_Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie  
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see  
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down  
Now I don't know what to be without you around_

**Nina PoV:**

A few hours later I pull my car into the car park opposite a hotel and clamber out. My legs ache from 4 hours of driving, my head aches from crying and weariness and my heart aches from the surfeit of depressing songs the radio played all the way here. I swear the DJ knew I'd just broken up with my boyfriend and thought I needed a night listening to every sad song ever recorded.

I grab my trunk from the passenger's seat and slam the door shut, trudging across the street to the hotel.

* * *

I hardly get any sleep that night. I toss and I turn, worrying about what tomorrow will bring. When I finally drift off to sleep it is riddled with dreams where Fabian is always just a little out of reach; close enough for me to smell his familiar scent but not quite close enough to touch. I wake up almost every hour drenched in sweat with the blankets tangled around my legs, reminding me of the weeks that followed me leaving him.

* * *

By about 8 o'clock I've given up on getting any more sleep and I drag myself from the bed and into the shower. I stand under the hot spray for half an hour, letting the water wash over me and erase the tension caused by last night's dreams; my thoughts and worries swirling down the drain with my shampoo and water.

I finally shut off the shower, pull on jeans and a t-shirt and head downstairs for breakfast.

* * *

Once I'm finished with breakfast I make my way to my car and drive to the house that Fabian and I used to share. I don't even know if he still lives there but I have to start somewhere. I park my car just around the corner to the house; I don't want him to look out of the window, see my car and not answer the door. I need to talk to him, there are things that he needs to here.

I sit there for a while and trying to build up the courage to go and knock on his door.

_What if he just slams the door I my face? _

_What if he doesn't even answer? _

_What if somebody else answers?_

I open the car door and slowly walk down the street towards his house. My hands start to shake and I shove them in my pockets, hiding them from view. I arrive at his door and I can feel my palms sweating. I take a deep breath and knock before I can talk myself out of it.

_Knock, knock, knock._

_BREATHE NINA. EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!_

I see a figure moving behind the glass.

_Breathe in, breathe out._

The door swings open and a person I never thought I would ever see again stands before me. Her dark hair is scraped back into a messy bun and she wears a purple, silk, wrap-around robe.

"Nina, Hi" she says in her sweet, sugary voice which it totally put on and fake.

Why did I not consider that fact that he might have a girlfriend?

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"What?...No...its...No" I stutter out. I turn on my heel and hurry back towards my car.

"I'll let Fabian know that you stopped by." She calls after me.

"No that's fine. It was a mistake, coming here." I call back, my voice beginning to wobble.

I'm almost at the end of his street when Fabian himself comes jogging around the corner.

_Since when does Fabian jog?_

I stop dead in my tracks and Fabian almost crashes straight in to me.

"Oh. Nina." He pulls out his earphones and runs his hand through his damp hair.

"Fabian. Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing. This was a mistake. I should go." Before he can answer I step around him and run back to my car, leaving him standing there dumbfounded.

I tug my car door open and throw myself inside.

_Why did I come here?_

_I am so stupid!_

_I should have known that the second I was out of his life she would find a way to get in his bed._

_I hate her so much._

I swallow the lump in my throat and jam the key in the ignition.

Thoughts spin around my head like a whirlwind making me more and more angry with myself for not considering this.

I slam my foot on the accelerator and black spots my vision, probably meaning that I shouldn't be driving. Only I'm not thinking about safety. The only thing in my mind is putting as much distance between me and her that Liverpool would allow.

_Why didn't I think of this?_

_This is typical her._

_This is typical Joy._

**Author's Note:** There is the next chapter of 'Breathe'. Hope it was ok! As I start school again tomorrow I will write/upload as and when I can. 2-3 reviews for me to continue. Sibuna!


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